


Not My Burden to Bear

by my_little_nightmare



Category: Renegades - Marissa Meyer
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, angsty kinda, mentions of tala david and evie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:28:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28456824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/my_little_nightmare/pseuds/my_little_nightmare
Summary: Nova struggles through the date of her family's death, feeling a lot of guilt and grief.  Adrian tries his best to help her through it, and make sure she's alright.
Relationships: Nova Artino | Nightmare/Adrian Everhart | Sketch
Comments: 3
Kudos: 13





	Not My Burden to Bear

**Author's Note:**

> happy holidays!!! this is for @addies-invisible-life on tumblr, for the multifandom gift exchange!!!

Adrian watched Nova as she lay on the couch, a book spread across her lap. Her lips were twisted in a frown, and her hair hung low over her eyes. She hadn’t turned the page in a while, and just seemed to be sitting there, pretending to read.   
“Nova, what’s wrong?” He asked finally, his voice full of concern.   
She started. “Nothing,” she said quickly. “Why?”  
Adrian sighed, and rose from his chair, settling down against Nova. “You don’t seem okay.”  
She scowled. “I’m fine. Just reading.”  
“Uh huh.” Adrian was even more worried now. “You wanna watch a movie or something?”   
Nova shook her head. “I’m reading. Go sketch or something.” She flapped her fingers at him, attempting to shoo him away.   
Adrian didn’t budge.   
Nova groaned, and set her book down. “Adrian,” she said, clearly annoyed. “I said I’m fine. So… please let me be. I promised Narcissa I’d read this book.”   
“Nova, you can always talk to me. I’m here for you, you can tell me anything.”  
Her face softened. “I know, Adrian.”   
He wrapped his arms around her, then rose. “I’m going to make some tea. Want any?” He knew that always made her feel better.   
She shook her head. “I need to go to therapy soon. In fact, I should go get ready.” She groaned, and pushed herself to her feet.   
“Okay. Have fun!” Adrian smiled at her.  
She nodded, but she seemed distracted. “Yeah. You too.”   
\---  
“Narcissa, I need your help,” Adrian said into the phone.   
“Hi to you too,” her dry voice responded.   
“You know Nova better than anyone except me, and probably Leroy, but I don’t know how to find him, so I need you.”   
“M‘kay. One sec.” He could hear her moving around, and muffled words. He couldn’t quite make out what she was saying. Static came from the other end.   
He tapped his fingers impatiently against his leg.   
“Okay. I’m listening,” Narcissa said at last.   
“Nova seems really upset today. I don’t know why, and she’s trying to pretend she’s fine, but I know something is wrong.” Adrian cringed. He felt like he was betraying Nova, talking to Narcissa about her feelings. She wouldn’t like that.   
“Yeah. That would make sense,” Narcissa replied.   
“What’s bothering her?” Adrian demanded. “I’m worried about her…”  
“Does Nova talk about her parents a lot? Or you know.... Ever?”  
Adrian shook his head, then remembered he was on the phone. “No. I just know that she watched them die, and it was Ace’s fault.”   
“Adrian,” Narcissa said softly. “It happened today. She still feels really guilty over it. She thinks that if she had been faster, or smarter, or stronger she could have stopped it. And this year…”   
“It’s the first year since she figured out what really happened....” Horror crawled across Adrian’s face.   
“Yeah,” Narcissa said heavily. “This is probably the worst it's ever been. She’s the only one left to mourn them. It’s probably pretty hard for her today.”   
“Shit. I had no idea.” He frowned. “Why didn’t she say anything?”  
Narcissa scoffed. He could imagine her rolling her eyes at him. “It’s Nova. You think she would talk about it?”  
Adrian shrugged. “Fair. What should I do?”  
“I don’t know. Talk to her? You know Nova better than me.”  
Adrian nodded, distracted. “Ok. Thanks for telling me, I’ll see what I can do.”   
“Hey Adrian?” Narcissa said, her voice tight.   
“Yeah?”  
“Be careful with her, okay?”   
Adrians face softened as her words came over the phone. “You know I will.” He set the phone down, and sighed heavily. Of course. It made perfect sense. This was probably a miserable day for Nova. Her parents deaths were hard enough on their own, but now that she knew that Ace had killed them… he inhaled sharply. Her whole world had been turned upside down, and now she was alone on the worst day. Adrian had to do something. He had to fix everything. He had to help Nova.   
\---   
Nova cracked the door open, wiping her hands across her eyes. She felt absolutely miserable. Everything hurt. Every single year this day was hard, but it never hurt this bad.   
It normally was full of thoughts about what she could have done better. Maybe if she had used her power on the man right away, her parents wouldn’t have been shot. Maybe if she had grabbed Evie first, she could have escaped right away.   
Maybe if she hadn’t run, the man would have never found Evie.   
That one thought plagued her constantly. If she had made some noise, or let the man see her, he never would’ve found Evie. he never would have killed her. He would have killed Nova instead. The world would be better off anyways.   
Nova sniffled.  
No, that wouldn’t have changed anything because Ace was the one who had ordered the attack. Her own uncle assassinated her family. His brother. And every year he mourned with her, pretending to miss them the same way she did. And she had believed him. She had believed his lies. He killed her mom. He killed her dad. He killed Evie. And it all still felt like her fault.   
“Nova?” She heard Adrian’s soft voice ask quietly.   
She wiped her eyes quickly.   
“Narcissa told me about… y’know. Everything. Stars Nova, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know.”   
She collapsed into his arms, and burst into tears.   
“Hey, it's okay. It’s alright,” Adrian said, rubbing her back.   
“I miss them,” Nova sobbed into his shoulder. “I miss them so much, but I keep going back to last year, and the year before that, and the year…” she broke into a loud sob. “I keep remembering how Ace was the one who made me feel better. And- and it turns out he was the one who killed them. It turns out it was all his fault. I held onto him, while I cried.”   
“I know,” Adrian murmured.   
Nova pulled back. “I just want them back.”  
“Hey, I know you do. I know how you feel. If I hadn’t made Phobia, my mom would still be alive. But there was no way to stop that from happening. The past happened, and none of it was our fault. We were little kids, and we didn’t know any better.”   
“But what if I could have saved them? Or at least Evie? I keep thinking about it, seeing all the ways I could have done it better.”  
“Nova, you were six! You couldn’t have been expected to save them. You couldn’t have fixed anything. None of it was your fault.”  
Nova nodded mutely, and wrapped her arms around his body.   
Adrian held her tightly, and gently rocked them back and forth.   
“Thank you,” Nova said quietly at last. “For everything.”  
“Of course Nova. I love you.” He tilted her face up to his, and scooped her tears away with the pad of his thumb. “There's one more thing I wanted to show you.”  
“What?”  
“It’s a surprise. Would you rather stay in though? I understand if you just want to stay home. We could watch a movie, or just sit if you want…”  
“No.” Nova shook her head, and attempted a smile. “I’m okay. You can show me.”  
“Okay.” Adrian linked his arm through Nova’s and led her back out the door. “Just let me know if anything is too much.”  
“I will.”   
“Promise?”  
She nodded. “I promise.”  
\---  
Adrian pulled the car into a small parking lot, and opened the door for Nova.   
“Where are we?” She asked bewildered.   
“You’ll see. Are you okay?”  
She attempted a brave smile. “Better. It’s still hard to think about them.”  
“It’ll never get better. You can’t ever get over the pain. But I find it helps to remember that you still remember them, and love them and miss them. It means that they still exist, and matter.” Adrian slipped his hand into Nova’s and squeezed it gently.   
He led her through a small iron gate, and to a large willow tree, the long boughs covering a stone bench from view almost completely.   
“What’s happening?” Nova asked, confusion in her voice.   
“You’ll see.” Adrian spread the leaves apart, and pulled them through.   
Inside the leafy green cove, two twin stones lay on the ground.   
Nova fell to her knees as she stared at the inscription carved into the gray marble. Tala Artino and David Artino.  
“How?” Nova asked, her eyes glassy with tears.   
“I asked around. I knew there was a cemetery for those killed in the Age of Anarchy, and I know my dad had made sure your parents were buried. It wasn’t hard.” Adrian stuck his hands in his pockets, feeling awkward for some reason. As if he was intruding on something sacred.   
“Adrian I-....” Nova trailed off. “Thank you so much. I never thought I’d be able to see them put to rest.” Twin trails of tears snaked their way down her cheeks.   
“Of course Nova. I’d do anything for you.”   
She looked at the two headstones one last time. “Where’s Evie?” She asked at last. Pain flashed across her face.   
“That was the other thing I wanted to tell you.” Adrian cleared his throat. “Nova, I think it’s possible she’s alive.”  
“No.” Nova shook her head. “That’s impossible, I heard her cries…” Nova took in a shuddering breath. “I heard her cries stop after a gunshot. She’s dead. She can’t be alive.”   
“Nova, I can bring my drawings to life, you can put people to sleep with your touch. Are you really going to argue about what’s possible?”  
Hope spread across her face. “You really think she’s out there?”  
“The report said there were three bodies when my dad came. When they picked up your parents, there were only two. I’m not saying she is alive, but… she could be.”  
“‘Could be’ is enough for me.” Nova turned to face Adrian, hope and joy gleaming in her dark eyes. “Adrian, will you help me find her?”  
He smiled. “You know I will.”   
Nova hugged her arms tight to her chest, and let herself smile at the two twin headstones. “If she’s out there, I promise you I’ll bring her home,” she said into the empty air. “I couldn’t save you… but maybe I can save her.” She hugged her body tight to Adrian, and brushed a kiss against his cheek. “Let's go home,” she said.  
“Of course my star,” he replied, kissing her forehead.   
Nova walked away from her parents two headstones, feeling lighter and heavier than she had in years. But now… now she didn’t need to bear the burden alone. She would find her sister, and she had help. She squeezed Adrian against her, and leaned heavily on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around her, and together they walked out of the cemetery.


End file.
